twenty-four

I woke up on my stomach, my head to the side and away from the morning light, in a comfy bed, with a weight on my back. Shifting a millimeter, I felt familiar arms around my midsection, the head burrowed into my hair, legs in between mine, and recognized the morning wood resting against the soft cushion of my butt. I rolled my eyes behind my lids and couldn’t stop the smile that took hold of my lips.

Despite Sans being almost completely on top of me, his weight only kept me warm, not suffocated. The blanket that he must have tossed over us before following me to dreamland was resting at our ankles. And despite his skeletal physique, any pointy edges that I would normally feel on a regular skeleton were non-existent in these circumstances. Which is odd, but definitely not bad.

I was glad that we were on our honeymoon, and thus any housekeepers that came around knocked before entering. I suffered from a lot of embarrassment one day when Sans’ housekeeper, a part time employee at Gaster Industries, forgot to knock and walked in on us completely nude and asleep. It was a very interesting morning, with a guffawing half-covered skeleton, a furious mage telling him off for laughing, and a mortified college student all in one room – in a word, chaos.

Given that, obviously, Sans didn’t care and assured her at work that it was okay. The poor girl – Celia – might have been scarred for life and I treated her to lunch because I felt bad since Sans did laugh at her. At least she learned to always knock. She and I developed a sort of sisterly relationship as time went on.

I sighed, and then cringed as I felt my bladder twinge uncomfortably. I tried to free myself from my skeletal cage, but Sans wasn’t having that. A growl emanated from his bare ribs as he pulled me closer.

“Sans, I gotta peeeee!” I whined. “Le’ggo!”

“…rrrrrrr…” Was his growling reply.

His fingers traveled lower and I squeaked as they traveled into dangerous territory. My aura flared up, the force pushing the skeleton off me with a hurt whine. I jumped up and sprinted into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet.

I exhaled a deep, loud groan as the relief took hold. “That was too close.”

“babe, why’d you do that?” The whiner called out. I expected him to press himself against the door, but given how lazy he was…

“I needed to pee. I almost didn’t make it because of you.”

“oh. oops.” He chuckled sheepishly. “d’that mean yer comin’ back to bed after?”

I huffed. “Yes. But we gotta eat, too.”

“okay. room service it is.”

Wait! “Where are we?” In my rush to pee, I didn’t look around.

“i would much rather you come out and see for yourself than just have me tell ya, babe. if you still don’t know once you come out here, i’ll tell ya.” He paused. “pancakes and eggs good?”

I nodded, and then realized he couldn’t see that. “Yeah, that’s good.”

“cool. i’m ordering now.” I heard the telling sound of the phone and his unintelligible mumbles through the door as I flushed and washed my hands. I exited the bathroom as he finished. “c’mere.”

As I assumed upon waking up, we were both naked. Our clothes were on a sofa in the corner. However, when exiting the bathroom, that was the least of my concern.

Outside the window, which incorporated one whole side of the room, the ceiling far above us and befitting a chapel’s ceiling more than a hotel room, was the ocean. The ‘morning light’ glittered off the water and made the opposing walls of our room a dazzling display of light.

The room was huge, containing a lounge area, bedroom, full-sized bathroom, and small kitchenette and dining table. While it was smaller than the room at the winter resort, it was still massive in comparison to other hotel rooms I had been to…y’know, before I met Sans and during our ‘separation’.

Looking out the window, I watch a school of fish swim by, a crab trot along the floor, a sting ray glide over the rocky crevices, and was that a shark? I looked away, not a fan of the bigger fish. Given that this was essentially a personal aquarium, staying here must have cost a fortune. Not that Sans couldn’t afford it.

“Wow.” I mumbled as I felt Sans wrap his arms around my chest. “How much…?”

“why do you wanna know?” He murmured into my hair, a soft chuckle in his voice.

“Gee, I wonder.” I replied dryly.

He released the chuckle, letting it tease my skin and hair. “don’t worry about it.” Oh, c’mon!

“I’m worrying.” I replied simply, a smirk playing across my lips.

He hummed in amusement, peppering kisses into my hair and along the parts of my face he could reach from his place behind me. “we’re here for a month. i bought the full majestic package, minus a few things since i know we won’t do them. although, it’s an easy add-on if you change your mind.”

“So, let’s see.” I held up the pamphlet that displayed all the packages for a stay at this resort.

He gawked. “____, babe! no! c’mon! don’t just–”

“Holy shit! Five hundred thousand–wait! Add that, this…and…”

He ripped the pamphlet from my hand. “you’re so mean.”

I grabbed his phone. “Fine. Have it your way.” I unlocked it and opened his email and scrolled. “Holy shit! That’s…a lot of money.”

“i can afford it! uh mah gawd, stahp!” He snatched the phone and use his free hand to hold me against him while keeping the phone away. “you are mean!” I retorted by sticking my tongue out.

A knock made us pause and Sans released me and pointed to the bed as he pulled on a robe, pocketed the phone, and called out to the person on the other side of the door. Thirty seconds later, he joined me back near the bed with a rolling tray in tow, our food glistening beautifully on the plates.

“dig in, sweetheart.” Sans purred, already at ease once more.

“Don’t mind if I do.” I cooed back, still smug.

“pfffff! babe, look at this!”

Having showered and gotten dressed, Sans and I were lounging. Sans had been browsing on his tablet while I had read about events and popular attractions this resort, Aquamarine, had to offer.

Getting up and walking over, I looked over Sans’ shoulder at his tablet where the news was displayed. As I read, Sans explained, “i had it leaked that our wedding was today instead of two days ago and gave a false address. let’s just say the media is not pleased.”

Sure enough, the article talked about the misinformation. Several of the press were photographed on the site of a landfill, one of them flipping off the camera man.

I raised a brow. “When was that information released?”

“nate released it when he left after the wedding.” He replied with a smirk. “we had it ready to be sent out anonymously and it was one of the things i talked to him about before we left to come here.”

“You are totally trolling the media.” I sighed. I couldn’t hide the small smile, however.

“yes i am.” He replied proudly – he would be proud. “i consider myself a connoisseur of trolling, media-related or otherwise. i know exactly what to say, do, and how to get the best reactions. call it a hobby.”

I deadpanned. A hobby? Really? “How do so people like you…and so much?” I wondered aloud. “Especially when you do stuff like this.”

“because i leave behind a story, despite the truth not being out there. and when i’m not trolling people, i’m portrayed as charming, debonair, intelligent, and sexy by fans and media alike. i would add bachelor to that list…if it was true.” Too fast for me to keep up, he turned and pounced, pulling me into a passionate kiss for added effect.

“You are too much.” I gasped when my lips were free. “And what’s even more shocking is that you manage to look sexy with and without clothes on, despite being only bones.”

“uh-uh-uh…bones and magic.” He Winked^TM, his magic manifesting into the shape of a specific organ on his pelvis. His predatory smirk was almost scary except that bone brows were wiggling obnoxiously.

“You are ridiculous.” I half-sighed, half-laughed. An interesting combination. I tried glaring to show I was serious.

“hey, if i’m not, people won’t have nearly as much fun.” He pressed kisses to my brows. “now, please stop frowning or i’ll have to use drastic measures.”

“Like what?” I glared at him.

“do you really want to know?” Damn him and his deep, sexy voice.

“…M-maybe some other time.”

“well then, smile for me, sweetheart.” He cooed, exaggerating what he wanted me to do with a twist of his mouth. Despite it looking funny, it was also incredibly charming, and I couldn’t fight back. I sighed, relaxing and letting my lips twitch into a smile against my will. “that’s my lady. c’mere!”

“hahahahahahaaaa!”

“See, see! This is why we can’t do nice things!” Despite the meme, I was serious.

Sans decided that he wanted to prank some of the sea life being exhibited, and the result was an angry, honking seal that now had a bone to pick with Sans. The skeleton laughed harder; now that we had been bonded for a while, he could hear my thoughts and got more excited every time I punned or joked in my head.

The staff were not happy with Sans and asked for me to remove my husband from the area. I apologized profusely and pushed him away and onto a couch outside the exhibit, where I told him to stay put until he decided to be mature. As soon as I got him to promise, I returned in case they needed assistance.

“I’m so sorry.” I said for what was probably the twentieth time. “I don’t know why he thought that was a good idea.”

“Probably too giddy.” One of the managers said. “We’ve had some visitors try some really stupid things in the past. Though, this definitely takes the cake. I can’t believe what I saw.”

“I know.” I cried, glancing over to the door where I could still hear the idiot laughing his tail bone off. “Will the seal be okay?”

“Hope so.” She rubbed her head irritably. “He’s very distressed. I just hope he’ll calm down before he hurts himself.”

I gasped. “Maybe I can try something.”

That got her attention. “What?” The laughter stopped, and I noticed the door ajar, Sans now watching intently from the other side, all previous amusement forgotten.

I decided to ignore the troublemaker for now as I activated my aura and held out my hand. “Maybe if I demonstrate with you first, you’ll understand.” The manager regarded me worriedly, but finally decided to take my hand.

“Whoa…I feel calm.” She mused softly.

“Exactly. I’ll calm the seal down with this. Do I have your permission?” I asked hopefully.

She hummed. “Let’s try it.”

“Amazing.” The manager gasped.

Sure enough, I had managed to calm the seal down. When I had first entered the room, the seal barked and honked aggressively. However, as my aura got closer, his aggression diminished. Now, he was sprawled lovingly on my lap, completely at ease as I pet him gently.

“You did very well, Bernard.” I cooed gently at the seal. “And you’re such a sweetie.”

“rrrrrr…” I turned and locked eyes with a growling skeleton, now pressed against the barrier between the seal and viewers. He jerked his head, a motion for me to come back to him. Oh boy, someone was jealous.

I smirked, placing a gentle peck on the seal’s nose – the growling became louder as the manager and some fellow employees giggled behind him – before careful getting to my feet and exiting the seal’s room. I giggled as the sea creature flopped over and waved goodbye. I returned the gesture before following my skeletal mate back to our room.

“Gah!” I yelped as Sans flung me, naked again, back onto the bed. He joined me, in the same state, climbing on top of me, a dull growl vibrating from his chest.

“Why are you being so harsh?” I snapped. “Calm. Down.”

“no, you’re mine.” He rumbled, pulling me firmly against him.

“Oh no, heaven forbid I fall in love with a seal!” I drawled sarcastically. “For crying out loud, Sans, stop being jealous of the animal you were laughing your bones apart about not even an hour ago.”

He quirked a brow at me. “you gave that thing a kiss.”

“I only did it to tease you, ya dingus. His nose was wet and gross. I literally looked at you with mischievous intent before doing that. Our thoughts are connected now. You should know this.”

I pulled his head to me and kissed him passionately to prove my point. He rumbled contentedly and pressed back firmly, fighting for dominance. I finally pulled back, earning a needy whine. “Shush, you. Look, I love you! You, bonehead!” He withered a bit, so unlike his usual self. “That you think a seal can take me away from you is probably the stupidest thing you have considered. It was your damn fault that mess even happened. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

I glared harder, my intent sparking my aura dangerously as I made my point. “Not me. Not the seal. You! Now, chill out!”

He whined again, ignoring my pun much to my annoyance, but was a lot calmer as he buried his skull into the crook of my neck, creating a cage around me with the rest of his body. He was finally calming down, and soon enough, I could hear his soft snoring.

I huffed, smiling, as I used my aura to pull the covers over us. “You’re such a dingus.” I whispered amusedly. “But you’re my dingus.” I pressed a kiss to his vertebrae. “Sweet dreams, Sansy-Pansy.” He growled softly. Oh, someone doesn’t like that nickname. I need to remember that for later.